FizzyFunnyFuzzy Poetry For Children: New Poetry!

Poem: The Plug-Hole Monster

Wed, 28 Feb 2007 00:00:00 GMT

The gurgling, burbling plug-hole monster,
Is waiting to slurp up your bath!
Skulking below in the bowels of the drain,
It belches its bubbling wrath!

Biding its time, till you pull out the plug,
Watch out, or it nibbles your feet!
The terrible, blubbering beast there within,
Is something you don't want to meet!

A blobulous mass of suddy shampoo,
It gulps dirty water with glee.
Then shiftily checks for the presence of toes,
And, with luck, the occasional knee!

So take heed and beware as you finish your soak,
And ensure that you keep your legs clear!
Let it swig till it's full, hear it grumble and moan,
And despondently then disappear!

(c)2003-2007 Gareth Lancaster
No poetry may be reproduced without the author's permission.

Poem: Hugs

Wed, 28 Feb 2007 00:00:00 GMT

Mummy wants a hug,
That's her twenty-first today!
I guess she doesn't realise,
That hugs aren't cheap these days!

I only stocked up Thursday,
And they cost a heap of cash.
For a pack of thirty Super Hugs,
My piggy bank was smashed!

So my mum will have to do,
With fewer from now on.
Or else I'll have no money left,
And my hugs will all be gone!

(c)2003-2007 Gareth Lancaster
No poetry may be reproduced without the author's permission.

Poem: Chocolate Cake

Wed, 28 Feb 2007 00:00:00 GMT

I'm scoffing lots of chocolate cake,
But not quite as much as I'd like!
I'm wolfing it down with a whirl of my spoon,
and it's flinging up, down, left and right!

It's hitting the walls and spraying the floor,
It's covered up Bessie our cat.
There's crumbs in my hair and on mother's best chair,
And the window's one choclatey splat.

But faster and faster I shovel it up,
Not bothered I'm missing my chops.
As it drips from my nose and collects in my ears,
Gloops drop from nose and go plop!

Then too quickly it's gone, there just was not enough,
As I'd said at the start of this smasher,
With my greedy delight (sloppy cake on the lights),
Not one spot found it's way past my gnashers!

(c)2003-2007 Gareth Lancaster
No poetry may be reproduced without the author's permission.

Poem: Bubble Bath

Mon, 17 Oct 2005 00:00:00 GMT

I emptied my bubble bath into the tub,
Determined to get myself thoroughly scrubbed.
The bottle had said "ONLY ONE CAP OR TWO",
So I poured in the lot to see what it would do!

That still didn't seem quite enough to get clean,
So I followed it up with another fifteen.
Then three bars of soap and a dozen shampoo,
And two broken bath bombs to finish my brew!

I'll cut to the chase, this did not turn out well,
As the burbling, foaming bath bubbles did swell!
It wasn't all bad, I was clean and smelt sweet,
But outside my soap suds had buried the street!

(c)2003-2007 Gareth Lancaster
No poetry may be reproduced without the author's permission.

Poem: The Rumbles

Mon, 17 Oct 2005 00:00:00 GMT

There's Rumbles in my tummy,
How they grizzle, grunt and groan!
They're unhappily residing,
Doing nothing there but moan!

They're grumbling with hunger,
And complaining more and more!
These Rumbles in my tummy,
That I simply can't ignore!

They're building to crescendo,
Getting louder than before!
So I guess I'll have to feed them,
Candy, crisps and choc galore!

(c)2003-2007 Gareth Lancaster
No poetry may be reproduced without the author's permission.

Poem: I'm Super!

Sun, 09 Oct 2005 00:00:00 GMT

I'm excellent, fabulous, great as can be!
Astoundingly splendid. Yes, seriously!
I'm wickedly wondrous to such a degree,
That I'm out of this world. I can see you agree!
Breathtakingly super, a sure guarantee,
There's no one as peachy or first class as me!
Phenomenal homework comes most easily,
So why is last week's marked in red with an 'E'?

(c)2003-2007 Gareth Lancaster
No poetry may be reproduced without the author's permission.

Poem: Daddy's Diet

Sun, 09 Oct 2005 00:00:00 GMT

Daddy's on a diet,
Taking care with what he eats.
So I guess I should keep quiet,
That I saw him wolfing sweets!

Daddy's on a diet,
And for me it's turned out well!
As I've joined the secret feasting,
To ensure that I won't tell!

(c)2003-2007 Gareth Lancaster
No poetry may be reproduced without the author's permission.

Poem: Missing Halloween

Sun, 09 Oct 2005 00:00:00 GMT

There once was a witch on a broom,
Who flew by the light of the moon.
But she took a wrong turn,
Just outside Bern,
And missed Halloween, the buffoon!

(c)2003-2007 Gareth Lancaster
No poetry may be reproduced without the author's permission.

Poem: What's The Point Of Tonsils?

Mon, 03 Oct 2005 00:00:00 GMT

What's the point of tonsils?
Are they there just to annoy?
For my throat is fiery red and sore,
This really is no joy.

I'm sure they have it in for me,
And laugh whilst they rebel!
No doubt they must have planned for weeks,
To give me pain and swell!

My voice is thin and raspy,
So it even hurts to speak!
These dastardly expanding glands,
Are making me feel weak!

I've asked before just what they do,
But nobody could tell.
So I suppose my Tonsils' only use,
Are weeks off school, unwell!

(c)2003-2007 Gareth Lancaster
No poetry may be reproduced without the author's permission.

Poem: Professor Frimpinsock

Mon, 03 Oct 2005 00:00:00 GMT

Strange Professor Frimpinsock invents some odd creations,
No matter how much he's prepared there's always complications.
His Integrated Doodad just exploded on the floor,
And his Automatic Whachacallit smashed through his front door!
His Neo-Fibric Widget, well that didn't even start,
And his Wonder Dingbat Grabber quickly stopped and fell apart!
His Super-Tensile Jigger scared away his faithful dog,
And his Futuristic Dingus filled the neighborhood with fog!
His Frimintensil Hoo-hah burnt a whole straight through his chair,
And his Special Reading Gadget went berserk and singed his hair!
Now poor Professor Frimpinsock's at present out of action,
As his last invention ran amok and landed him in traction!

(c)2003-2007 Gareth Lancaster
No poetry may be reproduced without the author's permission.